Every month, when I get my period
I breathe a sigh of relief and thank God I’m not pregnant.
‘Cause you never know when Jesus is comin’ back
And you never know who God’s gonna choose to be the next Virgin Mary.
And can you imagine anything more scary
than staring down between your legs
And seeing the little glowing head of baby Jesus?
Holy shit, no, thank you.
I mean, what kinda bumper sticker would you get?
“Your son’s an honour student?
Yeah, well my son walks on water and heals lepers, motherfuckers.”
Think of the pressure.
Personally, I’d prefer to give birth to Lucifer
The kinda kid that’ll sit at the Last Supper
And complain that Judas got more mashed potatoes.
‘Cause God knows
The Holy have done more damage to this world
Than the Devil ever could.